I am so happy, my show in Wellington sold out every night and the reviews were just awesome. I love this place. I did a Good Morning TV appearance as well and some radio and that was fun. The people here in NZ are just so welcoming and supportive.
Every night the people came to The San Francisco Bath House to see the show and they were such a giving audience, so many Scots turned up as well.
The weather here in Wellington is really hot and sunny; I even have a wee tan on my face.
So now I am off to Auckland to finish off the tour and perform my one woman show at the Classic comedy basement.
More exciting news…Time Out magazine in London had an online voting poll for the TOP TEN BEST STAND UP COMICS and I made it to number 3 in that list, I was the only woman and the only Scot in there! I am so happy.
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I was so jetlagged and tired but my opening night in Wellington went awesome. I recall vaguely standing onstage and my legs hurting with the need to collapse, but I know it all went good. The show sold out and the people were so lovely they gave me loads of energy back. It was brilliant; I love this city and its people.
As soon as the show was done I went straight to my hotel and fell asleep and didn’t wake up until the sun come streaming through my window this morning. The view is awesome my window looks right over the harbour and it is just a delight to watch the sunset, if I ever stay awake to see it.
Tonight has sold out as well and tomorrow morning I am up bright and early to do the Good Morning TV show. I had lunch today with a wonderful lovely NZ comic called David Cormack, he is very funny, and you should catch his show. David has been a wee rock of support since I got here yesterday; he gave me a mobile phone to borrow and loads of kind words when I was brain dead and knackered yesterday.
I had a bath earlier tonight; you should see the size of my bath in this hotel room. It is HUGE, I mean I could have swum a lap in its foamy waters, ok that’s an exaggeration. I could lie there move around and not touch the sides or bottom it is so deep and wide.
I am off to get ready for tonight’s show.
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I have arrived in New Zealand and all is good so far…I may fall asleep and miss my first night, who knows?
On the flight from London to Hong Kong Air New Zealand was quiet and I got four seats to myself and the on the flight from HK to Auckland I got three seats to myself, so I slept a lot. I am happy I wasn’t squashed in tight with nutty people.
I am excited about getting my first night over with and a whole night in bed sounds better than sex with George Clooney right about now, that’s how sort of out of synch I am at this moment.
At least I wasn’t exhausted on arrival and the Museum Hotel here in Wellington is awesome beyond belief! One of the best hotels I have stayed in, right now I have a washing on as I am in one of the hotel apartments they have assigned me. I am lucky.
Speak soon
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I was invited to open a new shop unit in Shettleston, the place I grew up in Glasgow. It is Kangaroo Self Storage Units. Shettleston is being slowly regenerated and it was amazing to see my old home town again. I don’t go back as often as I like. Too many bad and sad memories, but being there today was awesome.
I felt really odd as I have never ‘opened’ anything before other than a few Pandora’s boxes and clutch of Visa bills, both which scared me to death!
Anyway it was lovely and I took along my favourite wee niece Abi. She was all dressed in pink and pretty, she was so well behaved, I was very proud. She is such a wee smart intelligent social butterfly, she actually shouted out “I declare this shop open” as I cut the ribbon! What a wee star.
Abi ate too many chocolate cakes and the sheer amount of sugar made her even more chatty and animated! She stood up and told a very long complicated joke about a Red Indian who does a hard poo….I was in hysterics, it was so funny and she cleverly got the punchline bang on, she even managed to insert the pauses, the pull back and reveal technique was spot on and her wee voice was so clear. She executed the whole joke perfectly. I was outdone by a toddler. Apparently her grandfather told her the joke and she had memorised it, I was stunned!
She is such a comic in the making, watching her wee face light up and pausing for breath as she said the final line, and her smug smile as the adults all laughed was amazing.
So that’s been my day. Meanwhile I am all set to go to New Zealand on Sunday. I have a sell out show tomorrow night at East Kilbride arts theatre and I can’t wait to get back onstage there, I loved it the last time.
I have bought loads of new clothes for New Zealand and I just got my itinerary and believe me it’s a punishing schedule! I am tired just reading the damn thing.
I am STILL waiting on someone from Qantas getting in touch to help me get an upgrade as I literally hit the ground running in NZ…anyone out there? Please?
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The smell of my own bed welcomes me. It isn’t a bad smell, but a me smell. There are fragrances of washing powder and nightmare sweats, but they are mine. At night I snuggle under the soft cotton duvet and flatten my face against my own pillow. I can smell my hair shampoo on the pillowcase and there are hints of make up forever stained on its white cotton sheen. I adore my own bed and I miss it when I am gone.
There is a hollow on the mattress that hugs me like a lover. It knows all the places to caress me and keep me warm. Strange beds have no idea how to touch you and feel like a bad one night stand that refuses to accept their elbows are jutting into your flesh.
My bed has seen me through the worst and the best of times. It supported me when my marriage became a war, sometimes right there on its very surface. It held me close when I cried in pain through illness and it welcomed me every time I dropped into it travel weary and exhausted.
That bed opened up its strong comfy heart when babies like my great nephew and nieces Shaun, Abi or Julia needed hugs in the night when they stayed with me. All of these children have been newborn infants tucked up safe within its billowy borders, now they come over and bounce up and down on its springy spines!
It has comforted Ashley in the dark nights when she had nightmares and the bed miraculously seemed to grow bigger to make space for her frightened angular teenage body.
My bed is the best place in the world and I will miss it when I go to New Zealand on Sunday.
I will miss my family as well, but at least I can talk to them, I can only dream about my own bed as I lay between stiff, dry cotton sheets in a host of strange beds that will treat me like a rapist who overstayed their attack.
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I am flying out to New Zealand to do shows for the comedy festival over there, on April 20th.
Here is the performance dates-
April 22nd-26th Wellington San Francisco Bathhouse
April 29th- May 10th Classic Basement Theatre Auckland
The flight is extremely long and how I would love it to get an upgrade!
I can’t be the only person who ever wished this. I could never really justify the costs of going club class – so maybe- just maybe; some nice person who works for Air New Zealand would read this blog and kindly upgrade me?
I know it’s a long shot! But you never know?
I will give you a signed copy of my book, I will kiss you, I will leave you my best shoes in my will when I die…I will donate my kidneys to you!
Is there anybody out there works for Air New Zealand? (Janey gets off her knees).
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I am flying out to New Zealand to do shows for the comedy festival over there, on April 20th.
Here is the performance dates-
April 22nd-26th Wellington San Francisco Bathhouse
April 29th- May 10th Classic Basement Theatre Auckland
The flight is extremely long and how I would love it to get an upgrade!
I can’t be the only person who ever wished this. I could never really justify the costs of going club class – so maybe- just maybe; some nice person who works for Air New Zealand would read this blog and kindly upgrade me?
I know it’s a long shot! But you never know?
I will give you a signed copy of my book, I will kiss you, I will leave you my best shoes in my will when I die…I will donate my kidneys to you!
Is there anybody out there works for Air New Zealand? (Janey gets off her knees).
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